Heywire winner, Tenille
In kindergarten, I didn't speak to my buddy for a whole year. Not a word.
It's not because I didn't want to, I just couldn't.
I had always thought of myself as a weak person.
"They can do it, why can't you?"
"Everyone gets anxious, what's wrong with you?"
I was bullied a lot in primary school. People thought I was so rude.
When I was eight, I was diagnosed with selective mutism.
It's an anxiety disorder. It means I can speak to certain people, but with others, I freeze.
I went to therapy. I remember being bribed to talk. It didn't help.
I remember getting told off when I couldn't find the words to participate in school sport.
"It's not a choice I had — does he really think I want to be like this?"
I can't play school sport anymore.
I shake, I can't breathe, everything goes blank.
Eventually, that terrifying feeling surrounded school itself.
I had to be medicated to get myself out of the door in the morning.
At 15, I was diagnosed with panic disorder and social phobia.
I realised I'd been having panic attacks since I was five, that everyone just thought were asthma attacks.
I went back to therapy, and this time it was better.
It gave me a drive, a reason to keep fighting.
I have strategies now to deal with my panic attacks. I go to the bathroom, sit on the cool tiles, that calms me down.
But I'm determined to keep learning.
I have big plans for my career.
I want to change the way students classed in special education are dealt with.
I never want any child to have the same experience I did.
I want to be a teacher and use my experiences to make things better for others going through the same things as me.
Source: ABC